Wahai kekuatan, datanglah!
Monday, August 15, 2011

I still didn't have any courage to continue the full story of Damia Aisyah. I'm still waiting if ada 1 masa datanglah kekuatan utk terus menulis. But, I can't! I tried to avoid crying in front of Qaira. Dia tak tahu apa-apa. I still remember, saat-saat terakhir I dapat peluk and jumpa Damia... the last 20 mins with her... before they pulled off the machine... Qaira dapat masuk at NICU to say goodbye to her sister... Tapi masa tue, once dia nampak I dukung Damia, she smiled... sampai ke telinga dia senyum... My husband tengah dukung Qaira masa tue... I asked her to kiss Damia... but she refused... malu agaknya... but she keep smiling... and point at her sister sambil cakap, "Mama....adik...". 

*Crying*

I tahu dia tahu itu adik dia. Bila jenazah adik dia dah bawa balik rumah, my husband said she was really happy... Dia dengan cousin dia main-main dalam rumah tu.. bila her cousin bising, Qaira suruh cousin dia diam.. sambil letak tangan dia kat mulut and said, " Shutttt... adik tido!". I cried when my husband said this...

Well, I need time... tunggu masa utk kekuatan itu datang!

Full Story of Damia Aisyah
Thursday, August 11, 2011

I dunno either I can finish to write up all story regarding Damia. But I will try...InsyaAllah.

29th July 2011 - My last day for wedding job. Masa tengah cucuk bunga, I rasa mild contraction. I said to my baby "Baby, jangan keluar dulu..Let's Mama finish my work first ok...Nanti Mama ada banyak masa with u...".

30th July 2011 - I asked my husband to do last shopping for baby. Tak nak pakai Qaira punya bed sheet. I want a new one for baby. So, we went to Ikea. cari quilt cover for her. And I found one! Then makan puas2 segala ice blended i order.. Rasa mcm baby anytime will pop out!

31st July 2011 - I set a date with Anita nak bawak Qaira and Adzryl hang out together before Ramadhan and before I bersalin. Nanti risau takut Qaira bosan during my confinement. We promised to meets up at 11 dekat KizSport Empire Gallery. But, tengah2 nak siap, I rasa air ketuban dah pecah! OMG! Time ni rasa happy sangat but tak rasa sakit lagi. Immediately I called Anita to cancel our date. And she laughed and said Good Luck... My husband jerit2 and bagitahu Qaira adik dah nak keluar. So, I mandi then took my breakfast before I pegi hospital. Same symptom dengan Qaira... Air ketuban pecah dulu...

10.30 am - Sampai Hospital Selayang. Masuk labor room utk check the dilation. Seperti yg I agak, only 1cm jer. Then obgyn asked to warded. As we discussed before dgn obgyn, I nak cuba bersalin normal instead of c-sec. So, she said, if i tak full dilate in between 18 hours, then she will induce to force the dilation.

3.00 pm - Dalam wad. Rasa balik contraction sket2... Rilex jerla..

11.00 pm - Time ni dah tak senang duduk... Contraction around 15 mins skali datang. Dulu time Qaira tak rasa sangat. Rasa sket2 jer... Tapi yg ni serius tak boleh tahan. Tapi kena tahan lagi....


1st August 2011

1.00 am - Ok, contraction dah tak boleh tahan. Doctor check only 3cm jer.. So, I need to wait for another 2 hours. Time ni mengantuk dengan sakit datang sekali. Ya Allah.. buat pertama kalinya I rasa the real contraction..

2.30 am ~ 5.00 am - Doctor check lagi the dilation. And now dah 5cm. So, dah boleh masuk labor room. Duduk atas katil labor room jer dah seram sejuk. Contraction every 5 minutes... Sakitnya Tuhan jer yg tahu... My husband, Aril ada besides me but it doesn't help a lot... Mcm2 dia cuba tenangkan, but I cannot concentrate dgn apa yg dia cakap. I zikir jer.. hopefully cepatlah baby keluar. The doctor came skali lagi check the dilation. Now, she said dh 9cm of dilation. So, if I dah ready I boleh push sekarang. And, I try 2 times to push but tak boleh lagi. Dia ckp baby pun jauh lagi.. So, she asked to wait till 10cm. Ok takpe I cakap sebab I still boleh tahan.

So, nak jadi citer dekat dalam labor room tu ada 4 org nak bersalin during that time. Dalam masa tu I ada dengar lah suara org nak push baby.. But, dalam masa yg sama I heard the staff nurse kat situ, kecoh2 cakap kenapa dah nak bersahur nie, tiba-tibalah semua nak bersalin. I heard dorang mcm merungut. But, as a staff nurse, I think they should not talk like  that depan patient.. I dengar ok... My husband siap nak pegi sound asal nak ckp camtu.. But, kitorang tunggu je lagi.

And masa nak tunggu lagi 1cm tue, tiba2 I dah tak boleh tahan. No obgyn and any nurse dlm my labor room. I pulak yang terpaksa jerit panggil doctor mentioned that I rasa mcm I nak push. Then came the senior obgyn and check the dilation again. Pastu barulah terkedek-kedek nurse dtg nak tengok jugak. The obgyn said the dilation is 7.5cm... bukan 9 cm! I heard clearly doc tu cakap. During that time, bila I push, heart beep baby terus jatuh  mendadak. But time tu I tak tahu apalah masalah doktor tu masih suruh I tunggu even the heart beep is getting slower... 


To be continue....