Citer Hari Raya..
Friday, September 26, 2008

Elo guys...
Arini masa otw aku drive dr umah gi ofis, tetiba plak aku berkira2 lagi bape hari nak raya... Kira2nya lagi 5 hari la nak raya kan?
Mmmm, tiba2 aku teringat kisah 3 tahun lepas.. camni jugak la.. lagi 5 hari nk raya... tapi masa tue, seluruh Ramadhan aku n family, sambut kat hospital jer.. sbb that time kan arwah mak aku sakit...
Hari tue, 3 thn yg lepas, as usual, kitorang berbuka kat hospital sbb that time arwah Mak aku tgh koma... kan aku penah citer kat entry yg lepas kan..? Fikiran aku nie masih ingat... time tu kitorang saudara mara semua ada...buka puasa kat cafe hospital... dah azan nie, kitorang pun berbuka... baru la nak suap nasi, Dr. dah panggil.. Mama dah nazak... Apa lagi, semua kelam kabut berlari patah balik kat bilik Mama... at that time..sahur, mandi, tido, berbuka.., semua kat hospital...
Sampai je kat Mama, kitorang pun baca Yassin.. yg mmg tak lepas2 aku baca... suruh Mama mengucap... tapi, xlama pastu, Dr. kata Mama dah tak de... so, aku redha dlm masa yg sama mmg aku sedih giler...down giler... tak percaya pun ada...
Sbb aku mcm terkilan sgt, sebulan mama kat hospital... dan bila Dr. bagi dia balik kejap utk nak beraya, tiba2 hari yg dia nak balik tue, dia koma... Mama mcm tahu je dia nak pergi..sebulan dia dekat hospital, sekali dia balik umah... dia nak balik sbb dia ckp dia nak buat kuih raya kegemaran kitorang..dia sempat la buat 2,3 jenis dlm tak larat2 tue... pastu balik semula hospital.. dan bila Dr. dah bagi balik kejap utk raya... Mama pergi buat selamanya...
Mmmm, bila Mama dah takde, aku bosan giler nk sambut raya tahun tue... kiranya sekejap2 aku nangis.. tgk kuih yg dia buat, aku nangis...tgk baju dia yg tak sempat dia nak pakai raya, aku nangis... buka almari baju dia pun aku nangis... bila aku tido, aku bangun, aku nangis sbb aku rasa sayu sgt... rasa lain... sbb baru semalam dia ada, arini dah takde...
Tak puas hati dgn tue, tgh makan aku nangis.. mandi aku nangis... apa2 jela yg aku buat, yg remind aku ttg Mama mesti aku nangis...sampai aku tgk balik video kitorang raya yg lepas2... yg tue lagi la aku nangis...
Yg paling aku tak boleh lupa ttg Mama, aku dgn adik aku, kalau pagi raya, mmg malas betul nak bangun subuh2 tue... tapi, nnt Mama mesti bising2 suruh kitorang bangun... nak tak nak terpaksalah bangun... Yang tue la aku paling miss skali... mmm... rindu la....
Raya2 lepas Mama takde, takde benda pun yg kitorang buat melainkan, lepas sembahyang raya, terus nak gi kubur Mama... tue je la... aku mmg takkan ada mood nak buat benda lain...
Then, tahun nie plak, maybe akan bagi aku experience baru... coz tahun nie, aku beraya sebagai isteri.. chewahhh...well, kita tgk la cmna... aku pun tak pasti, perasaan aku skrg.. suka ke happy ke.. sedih ker... hopefully aku happy la.. sbb ada si suami masa Aidilfitri nnt!
Al-Fatihah buat Mama

16 comments:

[ Hanie ] said...

Erm sabar yer amie. Byk2 kan berdoa utk arwah. Dalam bulan ramadhan, roh arwah akan sentiasa kunjungi rumah sedara2 nya. Mungkin arwah tau perasaan korang kan. Just be strong k.

YANN said...

sedih nyer miss amie..i smpai tersebak2 bacer entry ni..xper ..sabar2 ea..rayer taun ni kan ngn husband..beshhh cket kan..semoga bahagia di hari raya..
Selamat HARI RAYA!!!

tasya said...

salam amie..

actually i've been a silent reader of your blog for awhile now...but with this entry, i think it's about time for me to introduce myself to you... ;)

i totally understand your feeling...i lost my mum too, 6 years ago, she died in a hospital, of breast cancer...and i beg you know how devastated me and my family were...being the eldest of two, and the only daughter in the family...i rasa like i've lost my life...she is or was my everything...

it's going to be a long entry if you want to know the 'whole' story...but i believe, it is quite similar, the feeling that we had over a dear lost one...and it is even a worst feeling to see the one we love suffer...in a way, i was relief for arwah Mama (it took me a couple of years to actually addressed her as 'arwah'), that she didn't suffered much...

this year is going to be a new Raya 'life' for you ;)...i am glad, although i am not married, yet, i'll be tieing the knot next year, and i'm REALLY looking forward to it...hihi

so with that said, be strong Mrs Amie, i believe that you are...cherish the memories you have had with your mum, as those memories will be yours forever...she had hold on to your past, now it is your husband's turn to hold on to your present & future...

Selamat Hari Raya to the newly wed...and Salam Perkenalan... :)

p/s: sorry for the looong entry!

m@Ri@ said...

em same wif me kak amie..maria nangis kat ofis..sumer wonder kenape..sabar ek kak amie..kwn2 mari kita same2 sedekahkan alfatihah kt mama kak amie..semoga rohnya d cucuri rahmat..amiiin..

Mrs. Amie said...

me to hanie : Yup..hopefully dia tahu.. :(

me to yann : siannya, jgnla sebak...thanks.

me to tasya : hi. thanks for drop by..and thanks for understanding too... kita serupa la yer.. when i think of her, i recite al-fatihah.. that's the best thing i can do...Amin.

me to m@ri@ : heheh..mesti org tanya asal nak meleleh air mata kan.. time tulis entry nie pun, xdpt nak elak dr menangis..sedey arrr..uwaaa

sabrina.h said...

al-fatihah utk u'r mom..sedihnye baca...jgn sedih2 ari raya nie sbb da ada en.suami terchenta ;)

The Mrs-Bride said...

amie.. me tgh flu teruk pastu baca ur entry ni.. makin sok sek sok sek la hidungku!! uhuk.. sabo ekk.. i can feel the lost eventho xde experience gitu.. doa byk2 utk ur mom.. i once mimpi my mom 'pergi', bangun2 dalam keadaan tgh menangis teruk.. terus cari my mom! my mom pun pelik.. so yeah, i guess eventho mimpi.. i bleh rasa camne rasanya kalo my mom takde.. sure sedey giler cam u! hmmm.. take care tau.. this year, experience baru utk kita2! first time beraya as wifey! pelik kan? i pun cam u.. tatau nak rasa apa.. happy ada, excited ada.. tp sedey pun ada gak sbb 1st time raya jauh from family.. hmmm.. ok dear.. take care tau.. tamo nangis2 dah.. senyum byk2.. nnt ur mom sedey plak tgk u sedey.. :) mwahh! hugsss..

p.s. nnt kita share album okeh! hihi..

vivavogue said...

aiyoooo....sedih jugak ni....thanx 4 reminding other ppl 2 appreciate parents selagi ader kan....

u hang in there okeh!

katak_78 said...

missamie..i lost my beloved bro 11 years ago..a day before he met with an accident, he picked up the pon coincidently coz i want to talk to my mum. Normally he will ask me or i will say hi to him..but malam tu mcm he just silence so did I!!the next day after playing tennis(hujan renyai2 and i was kindda pelik bila balik from my college)..my housemate told me about ablong..i was crying like crazie!!!I was crying..crying..the whole week...Patut my savings ada lebih coz Allah dah bagi sign yg aku kena balik Kuantan..tgk ablong for the last time...Ablong..i miss u so much.he is the only son and bro in my family...so missamie..sama2 kita sedekahkan fatihah bila kita tringat kat arwah,kan??selamat hari raya.....

Farah said...

sabar kak amie..semoga roh dia dicucuri rahmat..

jangan nangis2 sambut raya okeh..

selamat hari raya!!!

:)

dialicious said...

sedeynyer..:(..thanx for sharing in ur blog.
nway..raye balik mane thn ni?

NuRuLeRnAdEwI said...

Dear Ms Amie...
Al fatihah utk ur mum..
Can I get ur contact email to liase with u?

Mrs. Amie said...

me to sabrina. h :yela..tak sedey.. kita tahan...

me to the mrs-bride : thanks dear.. nnt kita jumpa ek..

me to vivavogue : ok..will do..

me to katak_78 : oh..how sad.. smoga kita sama2 tabah menghadapi dugaan ini...

me to farah : selamat hari raya too!

me to dialicious : 1st raya with my family.. then ptg raya tue baru balik kg hubby..

me to nurulernadewi : hi.. thanks for drop by.. my contact e-mail miz.amie@yahoo.com

:: vErde+hAzizi :: said...

Salam babe...sorry to know about that...u r such one storng lady

nways...hubby & i would like to wish u & family a wonderful EID MUBARAK! Maaf Zahir & Batin!

-Dr.Hazizi & Verde (Baizurah)-

Twiggy said...

*big hugs to you*

stay strong mrs amie :) and I'm sure your hubby will do all he can to make you smile on your first day raya as a wifey...

mine sure did :)

Selamat Hari Raya to you!!

~LIZA~ said...

amie,
i pun sejak arwah mak i takde.. memang takde mood nak sambut raya. tapi terpaksa harung jugak la kan. dengan aunty & uncle la tempat kitorang adik-beradik nak bermanja..